


A Thief in the Light

by MoonwalkingCrab



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Implied Murder/Suicide, M/M, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:52:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonwalkingCrab/pseuds/MoonwalkingCrab
Summary: Hux likes the darkness, he even loved it once.





	

Hux likes the darkness. 

It is the emptiness of space, the shadowed clouds of Arkanis in his past that no longer matters. It is solid and stable, blank and featureless, something that appeals to Hux. Maybe it is the memory of the droid who raised him, he isn’t sure. To him darkness means security, a reflection of that little corner of himself where a red-haired child hid from the shadows in those even darker.

His tastes are influenced, or so it seems, reflected in a penchant for dark clothes and dim lighting, the deep crimson of red wine. He embraces his nature and knows he will never be one to crave light.

Moonlight, starlight, sunlight, it’s all the same; cold and impersonal and so far away, completely untouchable. Hux knows that one day he will change that. He will drag that light from the heavens and bend it to his will. And in his quest for power there comes another; blank, faceless, dark.

This man is a maelstrom, a thundercloud always threatening to break, flashes of lightning scattered beneath the surface. He is a storm that rends the quiet solitude of Hux’s night. And Hux pushes back, needling and driving, forcing his way through the storm. When he comes out the other side there is simple darkness once more, soft and enveloping.

Now though, there is more; inconsequential wisps and feather light touches, the first breaths of something that might be more feelings than Hux has known in a long while. He turns to wine in an effort to forget. It is syrupy and thick, coating both his tongue and his senses, blurring his mind and dragging it back towards the shadows.

Hux loved the darkness.

It was unexpected, a surge of something that should never have been, a greater passion that he thought himself capable of; not passion for the Order, for the fallen Empire, for any of the plans he has spent so long building. 

This is for himself.

Dark eyes and dark words, kisses that surprise himself with their intensity; Hux sinks further into the blissful oblivion. He doesn’t allow himself to get too close but is drawn in anyway, an almost dreamlike state of caresses and whispers, the velvet softness that came with his mouth and the enveloping warmth of night.

He keeps his feelings within himself, small and private, buried deep, never mouthing them out loud. He never feels the need to. What they have is deeper, a shared shadow, deep and impenetrable. Sometimes Hux wonders if letting his words spill forth would have changed anything, or was this always inevitable?

Hux misses the darkness.

The light crept in, harsh and unforgiving, snow blindness on the night Starkiller wrenched itself apart. He’d thought all was lost. Sometimes Hux wishes it had been.  
The light only gets brighter as the gulf between them widens, shimmers of sunlight after the storm. Hux grips tight but there is no stopping it, the dawn will always follow the darkest night, no matter how much he fights to quash the sunlight.

Hux fixes his gloves and glances through the viewport to the ground below. The _Finalizer_ burns around him but still Hux smiles. He adjusts the controls. The Resistance base is directly below him and a harsh white pinprick in his mind tells him that _Ben_ is there too.

Redemption, defection, so many words ring hollow in the white void where once his senses were… _affection_.

It doesn’t matter any more.

A flick of a button has all remaining engines pulsing at full power and Hux breathes deep; if there must indeed be light in the universe he will make sure that it is _blazing_.

The _Finalizer_ is a shooting star with Hux at its core, hurling itself out of the sky in the death throes of the First Order. The shadows creep around his eyes, all feelings gone. Ren took them with him when he left.

Alarms blare but Hux cannot hear them. The Order is done, it doesn’t matter. The _Finalizer_ falls but Hux cannot feel it. All that matters is extinguishing that light, burning it out of what little soul he has left.

Alarms blare, the sounds of screams and wrenching metal surrounding him and he smiles.

Hux embraces the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> I tend to hang out on [tumblr](http://moonwalkingcrab.tumblr.com/).


End file.
